3. Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto

By: Anneli Rufus

http://www.amazon.com/Party-One-Manifesto-Anneli-Rufus/dp/1569245134/sr=1-1/qid=1170354054/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-7120125-3887356?ie=UTF8&s=books

I am about half way through this book and already it has given me more closure and self-awareness than any psychologist could have ever provided after long hours of therapy laying on a sofa spewing random thoughts and feelings while they politely assure me that I am really not abnormal. I found this book while looking for another book I found in one of my fitness magazines, called The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties: An Irreverent Compendium of Must-Know Info from Sputnik to Smallpox and Marie Curie to Mao. Thank goodness for whoever invented the concept of "If you enjoyed this, you might also like..." and "Customers who bought this, also bought..." Again, in my search for knowing more and being smarter, I stumbled upon this book about loners.

In this book I have found peace, home. I have finally confirmed (at least in my own mind) that I do not HATE people, am not antisocial, not shy and am not even necessarily an introvert. I have finally figured myself out. I AM A LONER. As the book discusses many times over, loners have a bad reputation in society - because we're in the minority. Finally, a white girl born in an middle to upper class neighborhood can finally say she's a minority. I understand why I enjoyed Sartre's play "No Exit" so much growing up. As long as I can remember I have felt the same, I just didn't know how to explain it. I like people alright - just as long as I don't have to be in the same room as them, or be called by them, or have to see them on any regular basis. Being around people has always drained me. I have always hated going to parties. I was even questioning whether or not God messed up and gave me the wrong kind of plumbing when I was born because I hated talking on the phone to my friends. A girl who hates talking on the phone? Who ever heard of such a thing! Recently, I started wondering if I really just didn't like my friends all that much. I am extremely close with my family (at least now that I've moved out and gotten my own place), so I figured if I enjoyed their company so much and not my friends', maybe we have just "grown apart."

Well, this book blows all that out of the water. I am not alone in this. There are other loners out there, but as the book points out I am very unlikely to meet them for the very reason that makes us loners. We are the anti-group. As the author points out though, most places and institutions are geared toward the majority, the nonloner and some of us, given our particular circumstances, just need to rough it out. My dream is to own a log home with lots of land at the bottom of a mountain in Colorado, Montana or wherever else they have big mountains. To be miles away from the nearest town, have lots of dogs and spend most of my days reading. To many this would sound boring, but this is the ultimate for me. Unfortunately to get there, I must tread through my working career (I'm just getting started) pretending to be at least a semi-nonloner to get ahead and make enough money so that I can retire one day and get my place in the mountains. I may be a loner, but I've also got expensive tastes and not looking for a "rugged cabin in the mountains." Plus, vet bills would be expensive. Note to self: Maybe veterinary school is something worth looking into at some point.

As for now, I am enjoying reading this book, about myself. The book is well written and the author has a good sense of humor to boot. I'm thinking about giving this book to my friends next Christmas so they understand that just because I refuse to go out with them, it doesn't mean I don't still love them. ;)