by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D.
http://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-Thrive-Extrovert-World/dp/0761123695/sr=1-1/qid=1171387062/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-7120125-3887356?ie=UTF8&s=books
After finishing (and thoroughly enjoying) The Loner's Manifesto, I decided to continue on my journey of self-discovery and read The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World. Reading these books together worked out beautifully. While The Loner's Manifesto discussed the social and historical aspects of being an introvert (though the author believes this is not the best term), The Introvert Advantage has a great helping of psychological and physiological information to round out the topic of introversion nicely.
For example, she discusses the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous Systems and how they relate to introversion/extroversion. According to the author, the Sympathetic Nervous System is more active for extroverts and the Parasympathetic Nervous System is more active for introverts. This would explain (in my case anyway) why I'm sluggish a lot of the time. My system is simply operating at a more slowed down pace than that of extroverts. It also made me realize that although I sometimes I feel I have Early Onset Alzheimer's because I can't remember what I ate two minutes ago, introverts have excellent memory capacity and simply process memories differently. She says that although the memory is there, in your brain filed away somewhere, you can't just retrieve it at will. In some cases, it takes a trigger for that memory to be retrieved. Kind of like a Scavenger Hunt you need to follow clue one to clue two and so on. Eventually the final clue (or trigger) will take you back to the memory you're trying to locate. She mentions something else in the book that resonated with me because of personal experience: when introverts find themselves with free time, sometimes they can't think of what they enjoy doing. Seems impossible, right? Well, I guess for introverts it's not all that uncommon an experience.
Oh, and this one is the best. This one I enjoyed so much that I brought it to the attention of my parents (who I would say are also introverts). The author points out that because introverts brains are "always on," processing information and tend to have conversations in their minds, it is common for an introvert to swear up and down that they said something (or was said by someone else) that was never actually said. It just happened to be so vivid because the introvert was thinking it over so intently in his/her head. I think this has happened to me on more than one occasion and I'm sure after listening to conversations held between my parents that it's happened to them as well. ;)
This book was easy to read, in small-ish sections that you can read in one sitting if you don't have or feel like taking the time to read large chunks at one time.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Thursday, February 01, 2007
3. Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto
By: Anneli Rufus
http://www.amazon.com/Party-One-Manifesto-Anneli-Rufus/dp/1569245134/sr=1-1/qid=1170354054/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-7120125-3887356?ie=UTF8&s=books
I am about half way through this book and already it has given me more closure and self-awareness than any psychologist could have ever provided after long hours of therapy laying on a sofa spewing random thoughts and feelings while they politely assure me that I am really not abnormal. I found this book while looking for another book I found in one of my fitness magazines, called The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties: An Irreverent Compendium of Must-Know Info from Sputnik to Smallpox and Marie Curie to Mao. Thank goodness for whoever invented the concept of "If you enjoyed this, you might also like..." and "Customers who bought this, also bought..." Again, in my search for knowing more and being smarter, I stumbled upon this book about loners.
In this book I have found peace, home. I have finally confirmed (at least in my own mind) that I do not HATE people, am not antisocial, not shy and am not even necessarily an introvert. I have finally figured myself out. I AM A LONER. As the book discusses many times over, loners have a bad reputation in society - because we're in the minority. Finally, a white girl born in an middle to upper class neighborhood can finally say she's a minority. I understand why I enjoyed Sartre's play "No Exit" so much growing up. As long as I can remember I have felt the same, I just didn't know how to explain it. I like people alright - just as long as I don't have to be in the same room as them, or be called by them, or have to see them on any regular basis. Being around people has always drained me. I have always hated going to parties. I was even questioning whether or not God messed up and gave me the wrong kind of plumbing when I was born because I hated talking on the phone to my friends. A girl who hates talking on the phone? Who ever heard of such a thing! Recently, I started wondering if I really just didn't like my friends all that much. I am extremely close with my family (at least now that I've moved out and gotten my own place), so I figured if I enjoyed their company so much and not my friends', maybe we have just "grown apart."
Well, this book blows all that out of the water. I am not alone in this. There are other loners out there, but as the book points out I am very unlikely to meet them for the very reason that makes us loners. We are the anti-group. As the author points out though, most places and institutions are geared toward the majority, the nonloner and some of us, given our particular circumstances, just need to rough it out. My dream is to own a log home with lots of land at the bottom of a mountain in Colorado, Montana or wherever else they have big mountains. To be miles away from the nearest town, have lots of dogs and spend most of my days reading. To many this would sound boring, but this is the ultimate for me. Unfortunately to get there, I must tread through my working career (I'm just getting started) pretending to be at least a semi-nonloner to get ahead and make enough money so that I can retire one day and get my place in the mountains. I may be a loner, but I've also got expensive tastes and not looking for a "rugged cabin in the mountains." Plus, vet bills would be expensive. Note to self: Maybe veterinary school is something worth looking into at some point.
As for now, I am enjoying reading this book, about myself. The book is well written and the author has a good sense of humor to boot. I'm thinking about giving this book to my friends next Christmas so they understand that just because I refuse to go out with them, it doesn't mean I don't still love them. ;)
http://www.amazon.com/Party-One-Manifesto-Anneli-Rufus/dp/1569245134/sr=1-1/qid=1170354054/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-7120125-3887356?ie=UTF8&s=books
I am about half way through this book and already it has given me more closure and self-awareness than any psychologist could have ever provided after long hours of therapy laying on a sofa spewing random thoughts and feelings while they politely assure me that I am really not abnormal. I found this book while looking for another book I found in one of my fitness magazines, called The Concise Guide to Sounding Smart at Parties: An Irreverent Compendium of Must-Know Info from Sputnik to Smallpox and Marie Curie to Mao. Thank goodness for whoever invented the concept of "If you enjoyed this, you might also like..." and "Customers who bought this, also bought..." Again, in my search for knowing more and being smarter, I stumbled upon this book about loners.
In this book I have found peace, home. I have finally confirmed (at least in my own mind) that I do not HATE people, am not antisocial, not shy and am not even necessarily an introvert. I have finally figured myself out. I AM A LONER. As the book discusses many times over, loners have a bad reputation in society - because we're in the minority. Finally, a white girl born in an middle to upper class neighborhood can finally say she's a minority. I understand why I enjoyed Sartre's play "No Exit" so much growing up. As long as I can remember I have felt the same, I just didn't know how to explain it. I like people alright - just as long as I don't have to be in the same room as them, or be called by them, or have to see them on any regular basis. Being around people has always drained me. I have always hated going to parties. I was even questioning whether or not God messed up and gave me the wrong kind of plumbing when I was born because I hated talking on the phone to my friends. A girl who hates talking on the phone? Who ever heard of such a thing! Recently, I started wondering if I really just didn't like my friends all that much. I am extremely close with my family (at least now that I've moved out and gotten my own place), so I figured if I enjoyed their company so much and not my friends', maybe we have just "grown apart."
Well, this book blows all that out of the water. I am not alone in this. There are other loners out there, but as the book points out I am very unlikely to meet them for the very reason that makes us loners. We are the anti-group. As the author points out though, most places and institutions are geared toward the majority, the nonloner and some of us, given our particular circumstances, just need to rough it out. My dream is to own a log home with lots of land at the bottom of a mountain in Colorado, Montana or wherever else they have big mountains. To be miles away from the nearest town, have lots of dogs and spend most of my days reading. To many this would sound boring, but this is the ultimate for me. Unfortunately to get there, I must tread through my working career (I'm just getting started) pretending to be at least a semi-nonloner to get ahead and make enough money so that I can retire one day and get my place in the mountains. I may be a loner, but I've also got expensive tastes and not looking for a "rugged cabin in the mountains." Plus, vet bills would be expensive. Note to self: Maybe veterinary school is something worth looking into at some point.
As for now, I am enjoying reading this book, about myself. The book is well written and the author has a good sense of humor to boot. I'm thinking about giving this book to my friends next Christmas so they understand that just because I refuse to go out with them, it doesn't mean I don't still love them. ;)
2. Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth about Compassionate Conservatism
By: Arthur C. Brooks
http://www.amazon.com/Who-Really-Cares-Compassionate-Conservatism/dp/0465008216/sr=8-1/qid=1170353559/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-7120125-3887356?ie=UTF8&s=books
Ok, so I haven't finished book number one. I just couldn't bare to wade through all the science stuff that I've so long ago left behind. I WANT to know more about science, but at this point in my life I just don't CARE about it. So, when I heard about this next book I decided to move on, even if only temporarily. I heard about this book while listening to a Rush Limbaugh show during lunch one day. Rush was out that day, but his guest host was speaking to the author about this new book and it sounded very interesting. The premise: Conservatives are not as stingy with their money (in most cases) as most Democrats would have you believe. Being a conservative with a heart, I wanted to see for myself what this book had to say. The author's assertion about conservatives appears to be valid given the amount of research he has done as well as the fact that the author was a self-proclaimed Democrat himself and presumably had no initial bias toward making Conservatives looking good.
http://www.amazon.com/Who-Really-Cares-Compassionate-Conservatism/dp/0465008216/sr=8-1/qid=1170353559/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-7120125-3887356?ie=UTF8&s=books
Ok, so I haven't finished book number one. I just couldn't bare to wade through all the science stuff that I've so long ago left behind. I WANT to know more about science, but at this point in my life I just don't CARE about it. So, when I heard about this next book I decided to move on, even if only temporarily. I heard about this book while listening to a Rush Limbaugh show during lunch one day. Rush was out that day, but his guest host was speaking to the author about this new book and it sounded very interesting. The premise: Conservatives are not as stingy with their money (in most cases) as most Democrats would have you believe. Being a conservative with a heart, I wanted to see for myself what this book had to say. The author's assertion about conservatives appears to be valid given the amount of research he has done as well as the fact that the author was a self-proclaimed Democrat himself and presumably had no initial bias toward making Conservatives looking good.
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